Ghosts of Christmasses Pasts

Were the ghost of Marley to visit me in the night to deliver one of his pre-Christmas 'change your ways' diatribes, I think I have a fair idea of what he'd be banging on about.

'Ben, you've given up on life', he'd say. 'You used to be so productive and creative. You'd come up with delicious recipes and share them with the world. You expressed opinions on food and drink in a pithy and engaging fashion with a uniquely quirky turn of phrase, bringing mild amusement to literally tens of people. Why did you stop, Ben? Why?'

And he'd probably have a point. 

Is 'long form' blogging effectively dead?

TL;DR: Probably.

 

Quite probably.

BV London Pub of the Year 2023-24 - the results

What takes place once a year and involves me drinking large quantities of beer? 

Well, OK, it could be practically anything, admittedly, but, more specifically, it's the BV London Pub of the Year award. Yes, it's a painstaking process, visiting and revisiting pubs to determine which one is the best in the capital, but I've been doing it for well over a decade now and you can thank me later. With beer.

This is the big fuck-off final, so if you haven't read the first and second parts of the contest with all the important details'n'shit, you might want to do so now before the big reveal. 

(It's probably a bit like how you don't want to spoil your dinner by eating a Mars Bar, but it's OK to have olives or something.)

OK then...

 

Missing you

I don't know about you, but early August has felt very strange this year for me.

There's been no Great British Beer Festival. And my life doesn't really seem to make sense without it.

Where I belong...

I'm well known for my deep love for the GBBF, having first attended 30 years ago and I've never missed one since.

Yes, I know we went without it in 2020 and 2021 due to some silly pandemic nonsense, but it was great to welcome it back into my life in 2022 and last year I finally took the plunge and spent the week volunteering which gave me a whole new perspective on the event.

So I'm really missing it.

I've said many times before that there's just something about it that makes the experience unique among beer festivals. It's not just about getting loads of banging beers into my system; it's a part of my life and a tradition. 

Picking up rumours and tittle-tattle from various CAMRA sources has got me worried about the future of the GBBF. I don't doubt that it will return - after all, the main reason behind this years event being cancelled was due to the extensive ongoing renovations taking place at Olympia - but it may not be quite the same festival when it does come back.

I've heard that the festival has gone beyond being cost-ineffective and become quite seriously loss-making, which would make it unsustainable in its current form. Over the years staff perks have been cut back a bit in an attempt to offset this but fat can only be trimmed so much before one starts carving into muscle. 

A scaled-down half-hearted GBBF of compromises just wouldn't be the same. I'd go, of course, but would I still be in love?

BV London Pub of the Year 2023-2024 - part two

Here we go then, the second part of this year's BV London Pub of the Year contest. Check out part one first if you need to, then read on. This time it's five new or returning hostelries that weren't in last years competition, so let's keep things fresh with these beertastic beauties. 

You won't want to miss this! (If you do want to miss this then feel free to miss this, obviously.)

BV London Pub of the Year 2023-24 - part one

Unbelievable though it seems, the BV London Pub of the Year award has now been going for 12 years!

It seems to come around quicker every time, with the sort of overfamiliarity that can only breed the deepest of contempt, but I keep at it, and it's now time for the latest installment.

You probably know the drill: This time we revisit the Top Five from last year's competition, and next time there will be five 'new' contenders, then finally an overall winner will be announced.

Check out some previous years contests if you need to get a handle on the scoring system. Otherwise, let's crack the fuck on...

My final post under a Tory government

With just a few hours to go until polls close in today's General Election, we are on the verge of a change of government.

And this means that, unless every single opinion poll of the campaign is spectacularly wrong, my next blogpost will be the first under a Labour Prime Minister. Which is quite something when you think about it.

Ah, sweet, delicious freedom...

This blog began back in October 2010, which means that it has existed entirely under a Tory-led administration. Government has taken various forms - Majority, Minority and Coalition - but the five Prime Ministers we've had 'running the country' over these 14 years have all been Tories. 

As many readers will know, I used to be very active in party politics, but have become increasingly disillusioned with it in recent years, given the lack of any movement that really represents my Right-Libertarian views. Indeed, ahead of the last election, I suggested going for a pint instead of voting. 

Things have arguably got worse since then, and - from my perspective at least - will likely get slightly worse. However disappointed I am with the so-called 'Conservatives', my deep personal hatred for Labour runs even deeper, and this time there is a very real risk of an outcome where the makeup of government is even less reflective of the way people voted than usual, which means even more Authoritarianism running roughshod over our lives, preferences and appetites.

(Yes, I'm in favour of a more proportional electoral system and have been for literally my entire adult life, so don't give me any shit about FPTP biting me on my fat arse...)

What I will say is this: If you have a local MP that is one of the 'good ones' - and, believe it or not, you do get them, in pretty much all parties - you can vote for them to keep their seat, secure in the knowledge that it will have fuck-all impact on the result nationally, which will be a Labour landslide.

And then go and have your last pint and meal under a Tory government. It might be a while until the next one.

Indeed, it might well be never.

Pho what it's worth

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but when I was growing up in South London, Streatham was the place everyone went to eat. It just was. (Well, I suppose it wasn't if you lived in Tottenham, or Edinburgh, or Madrid, or Peking, or Alpha Centuri, but for us in South London it most definitely was!)

Even in the 1980s the High Street had more restaurants than you could ever want. There was the Italian Il Carretto, the American Charcoal Pit that gave me my first taste of ‘proper’ burgers, situated strategically across the road from McDonalds. The Acropolis Taverna served up stuff dolmades and stifado that you'd only normally know if you'd been on a holiday to Greece.

In an age when people still made do with Berni Inn, Happy Eater and the occasional over-Anglicised Tandoori or Chinese, Streatham had a lot of very good restaurants offering genuine International cuisine. (It also boasted, and indeed still boasts, a Wimpy where one could order an 'International Grill' but if anything that undermines the point to which I'm meandering!)

Pull the other one!

In recent weeks there has been considerable debate about Carlsberg-Marston's launch of 'Fresh Beer', a controversial product that has garnered mostly negative coverage before it has even found its way onto the bar.

And I have to admit, I find myself feeling not unduly concerned about this. Yes, it's misleading and arguably the latest in a very long line of wrongs committed by wrong-un brewing conglomerates. But I don't think it's going to be a fundamental threat to the (cask) beers I like to drink.

It's controversial because it's essentially a keg beer, dispensed via a handpump - presumably a full-size one that looks more authentic than the miniature faux handpumps already used for keg dispense, and maybe even one that actually gets pulled rather than simply 'flicked' into the 'on' position. I get all that. But it's just not causing my hackles to rise in a visceral surge of physical disgust.

3.4 Children

It's now been a fair few months since changes to UK Duty legislation made it advantageous for breweries to produce beers at a strength of 3.4% or weaker, and we should be starting to see the effects of this at the bar counter as breweries seek to offer beers meeting this criteria.

Speculation at the time suggested that this could be the death knell for cask ales in the 3.5 to 3.7% range, with a host of new beer launches and reformulations of existing recipes hitting the market in order to comply. But to what extent has this actually happened?

Taste the difference?

Of course, it should be remembered that brewers do get some leeway with regards to deviation from the advertised strength. Cask ale, in particular, is a living, evolving, maturing product that can easily get stronger as it sits in a pub cellar. However, if breweries were to leave, say, a 3.8% beer unchanged and just write 3.4% on the pumpclip, they'd be cutting it very fine indeed, so by and large I'd expect them to be playing with a straight bat and brewing their revised beers 'down the middle' rather than trying taking unnecessary risks trying to get away with something that lurks in the margins. And, theoretically, a weaker beer should be cheaper for them to produce too, though this isn't always the case.

3.4% is something of an iconic ABV in certain quarters, mainly because of Brakspear's Bitter. Back when I was a youngster, before the brewery closed, this was considered an absolute classic session beer, and proof that great things can be done at this sort of strength.

Golden Pints: BV's best beers of 2023

Compliments of the festive season, everyone!

(Yes, whatever anybody tells you, it's still Christmas. My decorations are staying up at least until Twelfth Night, and quite possibly until Candlemas.)

It is, however, a 'new year' which means people like me can definitively announce our favourite beverages from the previous one. Which is exactly what I'm about to do, so strap yourselves in