Great pubs are killing good pubs. Discuss.

I love the Hope in Carshalton.

It just won my London Pub of the Year award for the fourth time, and a few days later CAMRA turned out to be in full agreement with me, naming the Hope as the best pub in Greater London. Big achievement and entirely deserved, I think.

But this isn't about how absolutely fucking awesome this pub is. I'm going to say something controversial, and I'm not I completely believe it to be true, but it's worth floating the idea for debate at least:

Great pubs are killing good pubs. Maybe. 

I'd better explain exactly what I mean by this...

Drink for Victory: BV's favourite cask beers of all time!

The VE Day celebrations last month, fairly subdued as they were, got me thinking about VE Day 1995, which was much more of 'a thing'. Perhaps understandably, because 50 years is a 'bigger' anniversary than 80 and, more poignantly, there were many more people alive back then for whom it actually meant something tangibly memorable.

Me being me, it got me thinking about Young's Victory Ale, and that, in turn, got me wondering if it would be possible to come up with a definitive list of my favourite cask beers ever. 

People do occasionally ask me 'which one was your favourite?' when they find out out many pints I've had, and it's really not a straightforward question to answer, precisely because I've had over 12,500 cask beers since I started keeping records in January 1996. 

I was drinking for a few years before that too, though the only beer from my 'bibens juvenilia' period that still stands out as a contender for this list would be the aforemented Victory Ale. That's how good it was.

Time for avocado to finally fuck off?

Has it finally had its day? Avocado, I mean. 

I ask the question with a sort of cautious optimism, because I've noticed over the past year or so that the once ubiquitous menu staple might be finally fading back into deserved demi-obscurity.

And not before time.

World Heritage Pints

Obviously I'm a pretty big fan of cask beer. 

It accounts for about 96-97% of the beer I drink, I spend way too much time seeking out new and interesting pints to tick off, and it wouldn't be an overstatement to say that drinking cask, in pubs, is a huge part of my life. 

I'm also well aware that I exist in a beer bubble of my own creation, that my drinking habits are far from universal and that cask beer is in serious decline. 

OK, it may not exactly be dying - yet - but it has increasingly become a niche product, as I vaguely predicted some years ago. 

Most of the beers I'd want to drink can only really be found in a relatively small number of specialist pubs, and the fact that I do almost my drinking in such places doesn't change the fact that as a mainstream product, cask is on the endangered list. Which should, and does, worry me.

The boys from the Craft Beer Channel on YouTube are concerned too. And, unlike me, are a whole lot more proactive when it comes to actually doing something about it!

Their long-running 'Keep Cask Alive' campaign is to be taken up a level as they seek to secure UNESCO 'Intangible Cultural Heritage' status for cask beer. Which is interesting for a number of reasons.

Falling out of Like with Wetherspoons?

The Wetherspoons 'Beer Festival' which is currently running has a lot going for it.

There's a reasonable mix of beers from all over the country (including the usual 'International' offerings which are all actually what the Yanks call 'domestic' but we'll gloss over that) and a fair range of styles from which to choose.

Having sourced both Vienna- and Märzen-style lagers on cask would seem particularly daring for Spoons, and indeed both are worth seeking out (more on why that may be less easy than it sounds in a bit!)

Ghosts of Christmasses Pasts

Were the ghost of Marley to visit me in the night to deliver one of his pre-Christmas 'change your ways' diatribes, I think I have a fair idea of what he'd be banging on about.

'Ben, you've given up on life', he'd say. 'You used to be so productive and creative. You'd come up with delicious recipes and share them with the world. You expressed opinions on food and drink in a pithy and engaging fashion with a uniquely quirky turn of phrase, bringing mild amusement to literally tens of people. Why did you stop, Ben? Why?'

And he'd probably have a point. 

Is 'long form' blogging effectively dead?

TL;DR: Probably.

 

Quite probably.

Missing you

I don't know about you, but early August has felt very strange this year for me.

There's been no Great British Beer Festival. And my life doesn't really seem to make sense without it.

Where I belong...

I'm well known for my deep love for the GBBF, having first attended 30 years ago and I've never missed one since.

Yes, I know we went without it in 2020 and 2021 due to some silly pandemic nonsense, but it was great to welcome it back into my life in 2022 and last year I finally took the plunge and spent the week volunteering which gave me a whole new perspective on the event.

So I'm really missing it.

I've said many times before that there's just something about it that makes the experience unique among beer festivals. It's not just about getting loads of banging beers into my system; it's a part of my life and a tradition. 

Picking up rumours and tittle-tattle from various CAMRA sources has got me worried about the future of the GBBF. I don't doubt that it will return - after all, the main reason behind this years event being cancelled was due to the extensive ongoing renovations taking place at Olympia - but it may not be quite the same festival when it does come back.

I've heard that the festival has gone beyond being cost-ineffective and become quite seriously loss-making, which would make it unsustainable in its current form. Over the years staff perks have been cut back a bit in an attempt to offset this but fat can only be trimmed so much before one starts carving into muscle. 

A scaled-down half-hearted GBBF of compromises just wouldn't be the same. I'd go, of course, but would I still be in love?

My final post under a Tory government

With just a few hours to go until polls close in today's General Election, we are on the verge of a change of government.

And this means that, unless every single opinion poll of the campaign is spectacularly wrong, my next blogpost will be the first under a Labour Prime Minister. Which is quite something when you think about it.

Ah, sweet, delicious freedom...

This blog began back in October 2010, which means that it has existed entirely under a Tory-led administration. Government has taken various forms - Majority, Minority and Coalition - but the five Prime Ministers we've had 'running the country' over these 14 years have all been Tories. 

As many readers will know, I used to be very active in party politics, but have become increasingly disillusioned with it in recent years, given the lack of any movement that really represents my Right-Libertarian views. Indeed, ahead of the last election, I suggested going for a pint instead of voting. 

Things have arguably got worse since then, and - from my perspective at least - will likely get slightly worse. However disappointed I am with the so-called 'Conservatives', my deep personal hatred for Labour runs even deeper, and this time there is a very real risk of an outcome where the makeup of government is even less reflective of the way people voted than usual, which means even more Authoritarianism running roughshod over our lives, preferences and appetites.

(Yes, I'm in favour of a more proportional electoral system and have been for literally my entire adult life, so don't give me any shit about FPTP biting me on my fat arse...)

What I will say is this: If you have a local MP that is one of the 'good ones' - and, believe it or not, you do get them, in pretty much all parties - you can vote for them to keep their seat, secure in the knowledge that it will have fuck-all impact on the result nationally, which will be a Labour landslide.

And then go and have your last pint and meal under a Tory government. It might be a while until the next one.

Indeed, it might well be never.

Pull the other one!

In recent weeks there has been considerable debate about Carlsberg-Marston's launch of 'Fresh Beer', a controversial product that has garnered mostly negative coverage before it has even found its way onto the bar.

And I have to admit, I find myself feeling not unduly concerned about this. Yes, it's misleading and arguably the latest in a very long line of wrongs committed by wrong-un brewing conglomerates. But I don't think it's going to be a fundamental threat to the (cask) beers I like to drink.

It's controversial because it's essentially a keg beer, dispensed via a handpump - presumably a full-size one that looks more authentic than the miniature faux handpumps already used for keg dispense, and maybe even one that actually gets pulled rather than simply 'flicked' into the 'on' position. I get all that. But it's just not causing my hackles to rise in a visceral surge of physical disgust.

3.4 Children

It's now been a fair few months since changes to UK Duty legislation made it advantageous for breweries to produce beers at a strength of 3.4% or weaker, and we should be starting to see the effects of this at the bar counter as breweries seek to offer beers meeting this criteria.

Speculation at the time suggested that this could be the death knell for cask ales in the 3.5 to 3.7% range, with a host of new beer launches and reformulations of existing recipes hitting the market in order to comply. But to what extent has this actually happened?

Taste the difference?

Of course, it should be remembered that brewers do get some leeway with regards to deviation from the advertised strength. Cask ale, in particular, is a living, evolving, maturing product that can easily get stronger as it sits in a pub cellar. However, if breweries were to leave, say, a 3.8% beer unchanged and just write 3.4% on the pumpclip, they'd be cutting it very fine indeed, so by and large I'd expect them to be playing with a straight bat and brewing their revised beers 'down the middle' rather than trying taking unnecessary risks trying to get away with something that lurks in the margins. And, theoretically, a weaker beer should be cheaper for them to produce too, though this isn't always the case.

3.4% is something of an iconic ABV in certain quarters, mainly because of Brakspear's Bitter. Back when I was a youngster, before the brewery closed, this was considered an absolute classic session beer, and proof that great things can be done at this sort of strength.

The Heart and Soul of England

Some time ago my father posited the concept of the relationship between pub and church as embodying 'the Heart and Soul of England' (I forget exactly how long ago, but given the rate at which time now passes it might be as long as 30 years!) with the pub being the 'heart' of this country, and the church its 'soul'.

We would occasionally revisit the topic and sometimes even consider the 'expanded universe', so a butchers shop would perhaps be 'the Loin of England' and the great universities the Brain, but the core of the idea - and indeed the core of any traditional English village - was very much Heart and Soul; Pub and Church. Perhaps located tangentally across the road from one another, inextricably linked through generations of the worshipful and the thirsty.

GBBF 2023: A Call to (Volunteer) Arms

I've been attending the Great British Beer Festival for 29 years now, and have long been a staunch supporter of the event. 

Typically I'd get a Season Ticket, attend most or even all of the sessions, and drink lots of beers during the week, which would be one of the highlights of my year. I've seen it grow in size from the mid-90s onwards; the evolution as it moved from Olympia to Earl's Court and then back again. And I sorely missed it in 2020 and 2021, when it didn't take place. Its return in 2022 brought a sense of purpose back to my life. Well, back to my first week in August, at any rate.

But despite being a GBBF Superfan, I'd never volunteered - until this year - and it's only right that I now give you my honest assessment of how I got on last week.

Half a dozen things that should definitely be a thing

A few ideas that have corrupted my thought processes of late: 

So good for you

1. Late night samosa shops. Wouldn't that be just the best thing? After a few pints to be able to have a couple of hot samosas, served 'open' in paper and ready to eat, maybe with some spicy chips and mint sauce or chutney to go with. Yeah, I know you could technically go to an Indian restaurant and order a takeaway consisting solely of samosas, but you'd have to wait at least 15 minutes and it's not really the same thing as what I'm suggesting. 
2. Bring back smoking indoors. I was watching the 1984 film version of 1984 the other day, and in the most oppressive, Authoritarian society ever conceived John Hurt's Winston is routinely allowed to smoke, pretty much wherever he goes. There should not be any measures whereby we are less free than the occupants of Oceania. But clearly there are.
   
3. Real brands on TV. Come on, it's just not true to life that nobody in the world of televisual fiction ever asks for a product by name. The world isn't going to explode if somebody goes into the Queen Vic and asks for 'two pints of Landlord, a bottle of Peroni and a Blackcurrent J20', are they? They could even mention their plans to get a Colonel's Variety Bucket on the way home. A regular could remark that 'the Harvey's was drinking well that evening'. Yeah, I know it's 'Product Placement'. So fucking what? That's about the least intrusive form of advertising there is - compare it to trying to play a free game on your phone! The TV producers could recoup a little money from those who make the products and it would add to the realism. Win win win all round. 'Oh, and a packet of Scampi Fries please'. 
4. Cask Orval. That is all.
5. Talking of Scampi Fries, bring back Cheese Moments to complete the Holy Trinity, along with Bacon Fries. And Brannigans Beer Nuts while we're at it. And the original Phileas Fogg line. I get that regular crisps are probably a bit better than they were when I was a child, but so many good snacks from the 80s and 90s are gone. I'm sure I've banged on about this before, but they still haven't brought the fuckers back, have they?
   
6. Deep fried cucumber sandwiches. Battered, obviously. Only the 'cucumber' is thin slices of gherkin. That would be amazing.

Bass is just another beer

The sad loss of our Queen last month will have affected different people in different ways.

For me, it brought about a rather shameful realisation. Specifically, about the Corgis.

You see, I had assumed, for my entire life, that having Corgis as pets was just what the monarch did - a bit like sitting on a throne or owning the Crown Jewels. Corgis went with the job.

Queen. Throne. Jewels. Corgis. 

This I learned from an early age, probably about four or five, but it was never explained to me that liking a certain breed of dog just happened to be a personal preference of the individual who was currently the Queen, and given that the reigning monarch never actually changed, I carried on with this assumption until, quite literally, just the other day.

I genuinely didn't realise that they were unique to Elizabeth II.

Preparing to fight the Imperial War

"I'm no 44.5 kilogram weakling but I always go the extra 1609 metres. I'll continue to drink the occasional 568 millilitres and eat 113-grammers until I'm 183 centimetres under..."

It's been in the what-passes-for-news-these-days recently that retailers might, at some point, be given the option to use Imperial measurements when selling us apples and dried pulses and pork scratchings or whatever we want to buy.

You know, pounds, ounces, maybe even hundredweights if you're buying something absolutely fucking massive.

We won't know exactly what these measures will look like, if indeed anything changes at all, until we see the result of the consultation, but the gist of it is that nobody is going to be compelled to do anything differently - this would, in all likelihood, actually represent a relaxation of the current legislation (with its origins, predictably, in the EU) which forces retailers to use metric, whatever the context.

Jubilee-free lines

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the double Bank Holiday and some sort of  'Jubilee' celebration, apparently one of such Platinumness that the likes of it will ne'er be seen again in our lifetimest.

Anyway, it is perhaps more notable because I have yet to drink a single Jubilee-themed ale this time. Not a single one. And, believe me, if I'd found some available I'd have purchased and consumed them.

Was it really ten of the Queen's Whole Years ago that I blogged about the Diamond Jubilee and imparted fairly disparaging reviews of the beers brewed to mark the occasion? 

Why, yes. Yes, it was. I've been around longer than a decade. Who'd have thought it?

Enjoy it while you can!

In a few weeks time I shall be 45, and, unless there are some big developments in the health and fitness sector, this probably means that I am more than half way through my life.

That's a sobering thought in and of itself, but getting older pushes me more and more down the comfortable pipe of nostalgia where slightly melancholic memories hold more sway than the contemporary world.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about trying new things. Drinking new beers, eating new foods, visiting new places - I largely measure my life by 'ticks' - but that doesn't mean I'm remotely comfortable when the old things disappear from the world. 

And they don't even have to be that old.

Fot pit nor furpose!

What is the point of the Good Beer Guide?

No, really, what is the point of it now? 

It's not as though folks haven't been asking that question for some years, given that a thick paper volume that might be 18 months or more out of date is a bit of an anachronism in an age when we can all whip out our phones and search for up-to-date pub and beer gen in an instant.

But I myself didn't go out of my way to ask that particular question, partly because it would be labouring an obvious point, but mainly because I've long held the official CAMRA Guide in some esteem, largely based, probably, on the affection of nostalgia.

So I held off. Until now.

Shut up and float!

Some disappointing news this week, with Brewdog putting off their long-rumoured flotation until 2023.

Hopes had been raised when they appointed a new Chairman last month, reportedly with the very specific intention of getting them listed, but - and they have plenty of previous in this department - the company decided to change tack.

Given that the only other opportunity to trade shares only happens once a year, and gets cancelled most years, the chances of being able to sell Brewdog shares at a fair price any time soon would appear to be low.

Which pisses me off massively as I've been wanting to rid myself of 99% of my 'shares' for some time now.