Fot pit nor furpose!

What is the point of the Good Beer Guide?

No, really, what is the point of it now? 

It's not as though folks haven't been asking that question for some years, given that a thick paper volume that might be 18 months or more out of date is a bit of an anachronism in an age when we can all whip out our phones and search for up-to-date pub and beer gen in an instant.

But I myself didn't go out of my way to ask that particular question, partly because it would be labouring an obvious point, but mainly because I've long held the official CAMRA Guide in some esteem, largely based, probably, on the affection of nostalgia.

So I held off. Until now.

Back in the day

When I was a child (which was pre-Netscape, let alone pre-smartphone) my family would plan days out and trips away based on the pubs in the guide and what beer they served. And it seemed a fairly reliable resource for so doing - although I guess if there were better pubs in these places that weren't in the guide, we'd likely never have found out.

And when I began my long and distinguished drinking career, I'd continue to get myself a new GBG if not every year then at least every two or three years to have an idea of what different parts of the country had to offer.

Even as technology rendered it less useful, I maintained an interest for old times sake. However, this required a bit of willful blindness on my part. As long ago as the late 1990s I was looking at the entries for the area where I lived and wondering aloud 'Why the fuck is Pub X in there?!?' and indeed 'How the cunt is Pub Y not?!?'

The reasons behind this aren't exactly a secret either. GBG entries are chosen on a local basis, by local CAMRA branches and ultimately whether a pub is long-listed, short-listed, included or not included will be determined by a relatively small number of individuals. Individuals with their own preferences, prejudices and petty, pigheaded pet peeves.

How 'in favour' a pub can be with their local CAMRA lot will depend on a number of factors, of which how good a pub it is, and how good the beer they serve - themselves subjective criteria - are only a part.

For example, if there are two roughly equal pubs in the region, one of which is on the doorstep of several active branch members, with the other a bit of a trek away and a bit more of an unknown quantity, it's quite likely that the familiar, accessible (to locals) pub will be the one that makes the grade, albeit fairly arbitrarily in the context of a national guidebook.

And where branch members favour certain breweries because they, oh I don't know, own shares in them, say, it can lead to disproportionate numbers of their pubs finding themselves in the guide which is presumably what happened with Young's pubs, long after the brewery sold out and the beer went to shit

But while you'd expect this to happen with some of the edge cases, the GBG always used to be reliable in terms of the very best pubs in any given area.  So, maybe my fourth favourite pub in the SM postcode area would be left out while my sixth favourite appeared in the guide, you'd always find The Hope in there because it's almost unanimously considered the best pub in the area, and even for those who dissent, it'll still be in their personal top two or three.

Taking the piss

As lockdowns have meant that I haven't been able to do the research for a proper London Pub of the Year, for the past couple of years, I gave out a special award. 

And it went to the Kentish Belle in Bexleyheath. That means that in my view - and with all the COVID-related caveats that apply - it's currently the best pub in London.

Not just the best pub in the Bexley area, but the best in all of Greater London. And yet...

A pub that is not in the 2022 GBG.

That's right. According to the official CAMRA guide it's not one of the top 4,500 pubs in the country.

Now I fully expect people to disagree about whether it's the best pub in London or even the best pub in South East London, as there are a lot of strong contenders around and plenty of healthy debate to be had. But it is entirely indefensible that this pub didn't make the guide at all.

Especially when there was - as if in an act of deliberate spite - a place in the Bexley section awarded to a Greene King pub that usually stocks just one cask beer. No amount of mental gymnastics can justify that position.

If every other pub in the area was absolutely banging, there might possibly be case that there just wasn't enough space and some pubs had to miss out, but there is clear evidence that this is not the case.

There is no 'accessibility' argument here. It's on a high street, one minute walk from a mainline station. It's probably better connected than just about every other pub in the area that did make the GBG so we can rule that out as the reason behind the Belle's non-inclusion.

And, yes, some older members have reservations about micropubs, complaining that they're not 'proper', but other micropubs made the guide, including those fairly close to the Belle, so that's not the explanation either.

No, the reason the Kentish Belle didn't make the Good Beer Guide is entirely obvious: Petty prejudices, squabbling, side-taking and point-scoring. If you're reading this and you're one of those responsible for this glaring and deliberate omission, you are, sir, a prize cunt. 

Nobody's forcing you to drink in there if you don't want to. That's not what this is about. Nor should it be what the GBG is about.

I'm a CAMRA Life Member. It's not as though I'm pissing into the tent from outside. But sometimes things need to be said.

The Kentish Belle focuses strongly on cask beer, serving a changing range that is always varied and interesting and - which should be of prime import to the campaign - always in superb condition, with beers being taken off sale before they get past their best (how many pubs can say that?)

So fuck off with your provincial grievances; the GBG is there to let outsiders know where to get a good pint, wherever they go in the country. 

In this one fundamental respect, it has failed.

Not. Fit. For. Purpose.