I try to cast my net wide, so this list contains anything from places where you can grab a takeaway lunch for a few quid right through to some very upmarket eateries.
American / Burgers
- Byron (chain) / revisit
- Bodeans (chain) "The burnt ends, with crispy, caramelised fat are a thing of sloppy joy, and last, but definitely not least, there's that big, succulent beef rib, full of proper meaty flavour and meltingly tender."
- Gourmet Burger Kitchen (chain)
- Dukes Brew & Que, Haggerston
- Hache (chain) "soft, pink, meaty and very succulent indeed, the juices mingling with the melted Stilton and decadently saturating the tender flesh of the soft brioche bun."
- MEATLiquor, West End "only a couple of guilty steps away from fucking your cousin over the bonnet of a rusting Buick behind the drive-thru."
- Cask Pub & Kitchen, Pimlico / revisit
- Ravensbourne Arms, Ladywell
- Boom Burger, Clerkenwell
- Honest Burger, Soho "The quality of the beef was stunning."
- Lucky Chip @ the Sebright Arms, Hoxton
- Olley's Fish Experience, Herne Hill "the eat-in section is 80s bistro meets Captain’s Cabin, with not a formica surface or industrial fryer in sight."
- Village Fish Bar, Ladywell
- Browns (chain)
- Members Dining Room, Palace of Westminster "while the quality of the ingredients were never going to be in doubt, the way in which they were assembled was surprising and delightful."
- Curve, Canary Wharf
- Pizzeria Sette Bello, Tooting "I can't think about it without salivating like an Italian bitch on heat"
- Spaghetti House (chain) "Even the things that aren’t truly awful are mediocre, which in some curious way actually makes the whole more awful."
- Ask Italian (chain) "dull, tasteless and so underseasoned that if I did ask a real Italian their opinion, they would've likely flounced out in operatic disgust."
- Pescatori, Fitzrovia "The rock oysters go down a treat, smooth as silk with no trace of grittiness"
- Zaza Gelato, Canary Wharf
- Paul (chain) "It's like the God of Cocoa ejaculating down your throat from a big, celestial chocolate cock!"
- Cafe Rouge (chain)
- Creperie, Canary Wharf
- Daddy Donkey, Clerkenwell
- Tortilla (chain)
- El Chicos, Streatham "your standard Tex-Mex stuff, executed very well"
Indian / Asian
- Silka, Borough "Just about everything I've tried from their menu has been quality, and as an added bonus the portions are fairly generous"
- Radha Krishna Bhavan, Tooting "It sizzles on the plate and the aromas of cumin and ginger trigger a major salivation reflex."
- Vijaya Krishna, Tooting "the Tilapia tasted so fresh I'd have easily believed that it could have been caught that very afternoon"
- Princess of India, Morden "cock-strokingly good value for money"
Greek / Turkish / Middle Eastern
- Troy Barbecue, Streatham "A simple, meat-oriented menu that will have you viewing the humble kebab in a new light"
- Tad, Hackney "Not so much a 'tad' as a 'big fuck-off plateful'"
- Lamb & Haloumi, Holborn
- Amal Shawarma, Tooting Bec "shittingly super-flavoursome wraps of meaty goodness"
Chinese / Japanese / Oriental
- Roka, Canary Wharf "all the flavours you'd expect from modern Japanese cuisine"
- Singapore Sam (chain?)
- Wasabi (chain) "a very good way to get a quick fix of East Asian food that actually tastes of something"
- One and One, Islington "just a bit shit"
- Big Fat Panda, Battersea "The range of appetisers and starters is particularly appetitising and, err, startery"
Breakfast / Brunch
- Dukes Brew & Que, Haggerston "manages to achieve the bacon nirvana of being really crispy yet still utterly meaty"
- Simpson's in the Strand "the sort of plateful I'd expect to be served at a three star seaside hotel while listening to a couple from the West Midlands arguing about a roof rack."
- Hawksmoor Guildhall "If there is a better breakfast to be had in the capital, I think it'll take some finding."
- The Rooftop Cafe, Borough "dessert perfection was achieved - without (presumably) any chocolate or alcohol, which is absolutely remarkable"
- The Gay Hussar, Soho "a melt-in-the-mouth expolosion of unctious umami"
- Cafe Brood, Borough "it's right in the heart of London, yet eating at the Brood feels somehow like being on holiday."
- Gaucho, Canary Wharf
- Birley Salt Beef, Canary Wharf
- Bene Bene (chain?)
- Gourmet Hotdog company (chain)
- Organic Chickpeas, Canary Wharf
- Department of Coffee and Social Affairs, Holborn
- Nelson's Cafe, Borough