Time for avocado to finally fuck off?

Has it finally had its day? Avocado, I mean. 

I ask the question with a sort of cautious optimism, because I've noticed over the past year or so that the once ubiquitous menu staple might be finally fading back into deserved demi-obscurity.

And not before time.

 

You big stoned bastard

Now, let's be honest: It's not that strongly dislike avocados. Certainly not in the way I dislike peas, margarine or many tinned foodstuffs.

There are valid sandwich and salad combinations that can incorporate its pulpy pale green flesh in moderation with a degree of justification. I'll obviously enjoy guacamole as part of a Mexican meal, along with the salsa and sour cream and cheese in a glorious mess. And I get that avocado oil has some health benefits and can be useful in baking.

But I'll happily go months without avocado in my life without missing it at all, so it's a case of simple fucking indifference as far as I'm concerned.

Flying the flag for avocado. And rubbish AI.

It's the imposition that I found annoying. For years avocado seemed to be absolutely fucking everywhere. More than just a fruit, it almost came to represent the lifestyle of a generation: A generation to which I didn't belong, and a lifestyle that I had no interest in living.

Avocado on toast is not an acceptable breakfast or brunch to me and never will be. The option to 'add avocado for only £1.25' to a meal is not one I'm ever likely to take up. And then they started marketing bodycare products with the stuff, and naming shades of paint after it. Enough!

If I've got my history right, avocados first became quite fashionable in this country around the late 1980s (some people called them avocado pears for some weird reason, which didn't exactly sell me the dream, given that the pear is one of my least favourite fruits). I was a youngster at the time, but really couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

They never completely disappeared from supermarket shelves in the 90s and early 00s, but definitely made a big, sort of hipsterish comeback some years ago and have been over-present on menus ever since.

 

You big boned bastard

The problem for me as a not-very-healthy 'fat cunt' is that avocados are high in calories and fat. For a fruit/vegetable they are almost off the chart. And if I'm going to be eating stuff that is fatty and calorific I want a lot more than a fucking scoop of avocado pulp!

I want some bang for my fat buck here. Cheese. Pork Scratchings. Cashews. Clotted cream. You know, something that I'm actually going to enjoy rather than merely tolerate! Definitely not a bland, slightly creamy neither sweet-nor-savoury blob of pathetic greeny yellow!

For many people it became a kind of 'hero food', and I just didn't get it. Is it because the avocado is mostly leathery skin and a big stone, meaning the flesh becomes prized because it seems scarce? I'm clutching at straws, I know.

But if, and it's still a tentative if, the incessant avocado-munchers are moving onto to some new eating fad, that will be absolutely fine with me. 

In fact, being the contrarian that I am, I'll probably start eating more avocado!