Lost Breweries: K is for Kitchen

I was all set to write about King & Barnes of Horsham.

After all, this was one of the biggish names to disappear from the brewing map when, in 2000, it was taken over by Hall & Woodhouse and closed, bringing an end to almost 200 years of brewing there.

Until the 1990s K&B Sussex really was considered one of The classic English bitters, though I could never really see the appeal, having only caught the back end of it, and I've been distinctly underwhelmed by the revived 'WJ King' brewery.

But that's about all I'd ever really have to say on the subject of King & Barnes, and that being the case - and I appreciate that this may be heretical to the ears of traditionalists - it's probably better all round if I use my letter 'K' to honour, instead, the Kitchen brewery.

Ten of your Five a Day

If you read enough articles filed under 'health' you will, eventually, explode in a befuzzled ball of contradiction and confusion, and that's only if you haven't already starved yourself to death through abstemious fear.

According to the papers and newswebs, almost everything is bad for us - there are all studies that prove it'n'shit - and yet, according to someone somewhere else, the very same stuff is good for us. Because there are all studies that prove it'n'shit.

So for years and years, we were all told that fruit juices and smoothies were really healthy, but now that message is the sole preserve of the manufacturers of fruit juices and smoothies. Every other nutritiocunt bangs on about how much sugar is in them and how they're as bad as cola-type drinks, which are, of course, the number one cause of obesity on planet obesity.

Monster Mashcakes and other Halloween tips

So, it's fucking Halloween again. The cuntiest American import since Mayor McCheese.

(I'm not entirely sure, technically, if we did import him and his wide, bunny, face, but as cultural references go it feels right, so I'm sticking with it!)

The Good ol' US of Stateside has given us many good things (especially in the world of food and beer) but the manufactured sentiment around what they call 'holidays' certainly isn't one of them. Apart from maybe seasonal ales and the Treehouse of Horror episodes of the Simpsons. They're usually pretty good.

Monster Mashcakes

Now, I'm lucky enough to live in an apartment without a front door that faces the outside world, so I shall be spared the worst excesses, but I've heard from others that the 'trick or treat' phenomenon has reached hideous levels in recent years and over the next few nights your doorstep will be infested with local scrotes in Harold Shipman costumes armed with rotten eggs and pump-action water pistols.

Fuck off.

I know I'm probably sound sounding like a grumpy, grizzled old grandfather, and some of you will be thinking 'pfft, it's only once a year, let the kids have their fun', so you can fuck right off too.

Fucked off yet? Good.

A tale of two curries (and a side dish)

Over the last year or so I’ve been perfecting some curry recipes, but haven't written much about them since my Murgh Keema Masala well over a year ago - actually the very first recipe I published on this blog

The ability to cook a really good curry will elevate you above the plebs – unfortunately all too many homemade curries are either bland and watery or just one-dimensionally hot and lacking in finesse.

Fortunately yours don’t have to be like this.

In the privacy of your own kitchen it can be hard to come up with something exactly like a curry you'd eat in a restaurant (largely due to the lack of proper tandoor ovens and other specialised equipment in most homes), but you can make a curry at home that's both excellent in it's own right and also significantly healthier than the old tandoori restaurant standards - which is a particular concern of mine at the moment, obviously.

Enjoy.

Chicken Tikka Bhuna

For best results, preparation the day before is required. The recipe works equally well with king prawns.

Ingredients - serves four



Chicken breast pieces, skinless, bitesize, about 1½ lbs
Onions, 2 large or 3 small, quartered

Red chillies, 2-3, chopped – more if you like it hot

Green peppers, 2, sliced into rings  
Tomatoes, 4-5, quartered

Garlic, several cloves, finely chopped

Red tandoori powder, quite a lot

Cumin

Paprika

Ginger, ground

Natural yoghurt or light sour cream, as much as is needed

Oil

Water (if required)

Fresh coriander, coarsely chopped (optional)

Method:

The key to this recipe is getting a good, authentic tandoori powder (a specialist shop, Asian market stall or the ‘ethnic foods’ section of a big supermarket will have this).

Make your tandoori marinade by mixing the tandoori powder with yoghurt (about 50/50) to create a thick paste, and thoroughly coat your chicken pieces. Leave in the fridge overnight if possible.

Once the chicken has marinated overnight, put the pieces on a baking tray and cook in the oven at about 200 for 20-25 minutes, until the edges just start to char.

Meanwhile, take a big pan with a lid and fry the garlic and chilli in a little oil, along with another generous pinch of the tandoori spice mix and the cumin, paprika and ginger.

Looking good...

After a couple of minutes add the onion, and then the peppers and tomatoes, before finally transferring the cooked chicken to the pan, along with any excess spicy yoghurt mix.

Turn the heat down, whack the lid on, and cook for at least an hour. A Bhuna should be quite a thick and dryish curry, so you shouldn’t need a lot of extra liquid, beyond what emerges naturally from the tomatoes and peppers, but add a little water if it’s so dry that it might burn, even on a low.

While the flavours improve with slow cooking, it’s important not to overdo it – the tomatoes should maintain their shape, and the peppers should be slightly crunchy.

A nice flourish with this and many curries is to chuck in some fresh coriander shortly before serving.

This type of curry is best served with a naan bread and a vegetable side dish (eg a garlic saag bhaji – see below).

Mixed vegetable Balti

This is a main-dish vegetarian curry - you can vary the exact vegetables used fairly extensively

 

Ingredients - serves four:

Carrots, 3-4, thickly sliced

Tasting good!

Courgette, 1 big or 2 small, sliced Aubergine, 1 full-size or 2 or more baby, diced

Onions, 2 large or 3 small, quartered

Tomatoes, 4-5, quartered

Green pepper, 1, sliced into rings

Chillis, chopped, as much as you feel like

Garlic, a few cloves, finely chopped or mushed

Fresh coriander, several leaves, coarsely chopped

Curry leaves, a few

Ground Cumin

Ginger, chopped fresh or ground.

Cayenne pepper

Turmeric

Black pepper

Cardamom pods

Lemon juice

Natural yoghurt

Oil

Water

Flour to thicken (if required)

Method:

Heat the oil in a big, lidded pan, and fry the garlic, ginger and chilli, adding the onion and dried spices after a couple of minutes. These spices are just a guide – you can achieve different flavours with other combinations.

Keep the heat on high and add all your vegetables, with a little water and lemon juice if it’s too dry. Ensure everything is mixed up and your spices are nicely coating everything.

After a few minutes, turn the heat down to somewhere in the middle and stick the lid on. Leave to cook for about an hour, stirring occasionally.

You’ll find the liquid level increases somewhat, so you might need to add a little flour to thicken things up. Stir in plenty of natural yoghurt and cook on high again for five minutes or so before serving.

Vegetable curries are very flexible and other ingredients could include chunks of cauliflower or (parboiled) potato.

Rice, puris, mango chutney and a cold beer are all worthy accompaniments and again, chuck in some fresh, tasty coriander before serving.

 

Garlic Saag Bhaji

 

A flavoursome side dish that will compliment most curries

Ingredients:

Spinach leaves (you’ll need a surprisingly large amount)

Onion, a little, finely chopped

Garlic, plenty, sliced thinly as opposed to chopped

Asafoetida, a generous pinch

Black Onion seeds, a generous pinch

Salted butter or ghee

Method:

Melt the butter in a large frying pan, and fry the onion on high for a couple of minutes, before adding the garlic, asafoetida and black onion seeds.

Continue to fry the onion and spices and ensure the surface of the pan is coated with flavoursome goodness, then start adding your spinach leaves.

You should have enough spinach to fill the pan and still have some left over – don’t worry, it will reduce exponentially in volume.

Keep the spinach moving so that the onion and garlic are all mixed in, and keep going until you’ve added all the leaves.

Within a couple of minutes it will be reduced to a think clump of green, and when you can no longer make out the shapes of individual leaves, it’s ready to serve!

This dish can be kept in the pan and reheated later, or indeed microwaved.